Latex, Leather, and a Pinch of Pixie Dust Read online

  “I thought that went pretty well.” Michael was the first to speak up once everyone was sure they were alone.

  Without answering, in a move that was much more the way Ethan used to be when Niki first met him, Ethan stormed out of the clearing away from all of them without saying a word. Niki half wanted to follow him. They definitely had to have a talk now if what Enrieta said was true. If Ethan never even felt a mild compulsion to act on his feelings, then he’d just acted out what he’d wanted to all along without anything prompting him to do so. Except maybe Niki’s obvious willingness.

  The question Niki was left with was, did this information change anything? He wasn’t sure it did.

  “Should you go after him?” Michael asked, coming up and laying a hand on Niki’s shoulder.

  Niki shook his head. “I think I better let him cool down.”

  “Do we need to talk about it?”

  The others were trickling away out of the clearing, slowly, trying not to obviously listen in, but Niki could tell from their expressions as they passed that that’s exactly what they were doing.

  “No, I think I’m good. For now. When there’s more to say, we’ll talk.” He promised.

  “Okay. We better get going then, or the packs are going to think you’re back here spilling your guts, and then they’re going to hound me for gossip.” Michael said with a quick grin. He nudged Niki playfully with his elbow until Niki cracked a half-smile.

  Together they left the clearing, Niki’s head full of reasons why Ethan might have been upset. He drove home in silence, his mind too full to process anything else. How was he going to talk to Ethan? When was he going to talk to Ethan? It was too late to worry about it just then, so Niki quietly parked and went inside, his shoulders heavy with the weight of what he knew he wanted to say. Mainly that he was sorry.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Ethan

  After the meeting with the Fae, Ethan went home alone, to his room, to mope. He didn’t care that it wasn’t very manly of him, or very mature. He felt like the one good thing that had happened to him in years had been snatched away from him, and frankly he’d done it to himself.

  Ethan had wanted Niki for a long time. In fact he believed very strongly that Niki was his mate. However, there was the age difference to contend with and the fact that he didn’t want to hold Niki back from seeing the world. He shouldn’t be forced to stay in Rush Creek just because that happened to be Ethan’s territory and Ethan would be staying. Niki should have his freedom and the right to choose a partner that he cared about and wanted to be with. Ethan would rather live alone than force his feelings on someone.

  He loved Niki and the night they’d spent together had meant so much to him, but he couldn’t know what it meant to Niki because Niki hadn’t said a thing. So Ethan had panicked and thought maybe they rushed into it, maybe they did something that Niki regretted. He tried to give him an out and Niki took it. Though not the way Ethan had expected.

  When Niki walked out, Ethan felt as though the world had come crashing down. Niki was like the sun and he took all the warmth and light with him when he left. Ethan wasn’t often moved to tears, but he promptly sat at the kitchen table, laid his head in his hands, and sobbed. His sister, Cara had found him like that, his heart broken wide open and had moved him to his room so he wouldn’t have to face Niki like that. He knew he’d handled it badly and that he needed to try and talk to Niki, but they had other things going on. They had the Fae to contend with and that took priority over everything else.

  Ethan sat on the edge of his bed thinking about what Lady Enrieta had said about werewolves not feeling the effects of her court’s magic and he knew then that Niki knew how he felt. He had to. Ethan had wanted him and loved him for so long, but he’d let his doubts drive a wedge between them and he didn’t know how to come back from that.

  A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts.

  “Come in.” He called softly. Ethan scrubbed his hand over his face and tried to sit up a little straighter so he didn’t appear as miserable as he really was. Not that it would matter to his sister. She’d be able to smell it on him. He knew it was her by the beat of her heart before she even opened the door.

  “Hey little brother. Got a minute?” Brianna asked.

  “Sure.” He said, not quite trusting himself to meet her eyes.

  Brianna took a seat next to him on the bed and sighed. She didn’t say anything but turned her body to face him and then reached for his hand. Ethan let her take it. She felt warm and her hand was a welcome comfort, as much as he hated needing comfort.

  “I’m worried about you.”

  Ethan sighed softly. “You don’t have to worry, I know I need to talk to him, I just haven’t found the right time.”

  “I think there have been plenty of chances. You could have texted or called him. You could have waited after the meeting with the Fae and talked to him then. I think you’re avoiding him and that’s what worries me. You never avoid the important things, so why now?”

  Brianna brushed her brown locks off her shoulder and sat up a little straighter. She always made the same motion their mother used to when something was important and she was giving it all her attention. For that matter Brianna looked like their mother had as well, and the thought made him smile just a little.

  “You’re right.”

  “Oh wow I didn’t expect to hear that so fast, but yes I am.” Brianna laughed softly.

  “Okay, okay, I know I don’t say it very often, but you are right. I am avoiding him. I just don’t know what to say or how to say it. I hurt him and I don’t know if I can take it back.” Ethan admitted.

  Brianna took this all in with a couple of nods. “Maybe you don’t have to take it back, maybe you just need to apologize and explain what happened.”

  “Maybe.” Ethan pressed his lips together, thinking.

  “What did happen, if you don’t mind me asking?”

  Ethan shook his head. “I don’t mind you asking, but it’s embarrassing now that I think about it.”

  Brianna waited quietly for him to continue.

  “Everything was going so well, we’d spent the night together, you know that part, but the next morning I panicked. I spent all these years staying away from Niki so he could choose his own life and not be trapped here in Rush Creek, not be burdened by the fact that he’s my…” Ethan trailed off, not quite able to say the words out loud.

  “Go on.” Brianna urged.

  “That he’s my mate.” Ethan said.

  Brianna’s face lit up. He didn’t know what he’d been expecting, but it wasn’t for her to look like Christmas had come early.

  “Oh Ethan, and you didn’t tell him?” She guessed.

  “No,” He shook his head. “I told him I thought maybe we rushed into things, and he just left. Didn’t say a word to me. I hid out in my room afterward and waited until I heard him driving away.”

  “You have to tell him, you know that right? He deserves to know how you feel and what he means to you. After all this time, you both deserve to be happy.” Brianna told him.

  “I know you’re right, but it’s hard when it feels like I might be trapping him.” Ethan explained.

  “You aren’t trapping him, he still gets to decide whether or not to be with you, but Ethan, he’s earned the right to that choice, you have to let him make it with all the information on the table. Okay?” Brianna squeezed his hand and then wrapped her other arm around him, giving him a hug.

  “I’m just not ready yet. I don’t know when I’ll ever be ready.” Ethan leaned into the hug. He felt better for having said everything, but he didn’t know how he could face Niki.

  “Be brave little bro.” Brianna said with a grin.

  “I’ll try.” He promised.

  Brianna left him to his thoughts. Though he felt like a little bit of the weight had been lifted from his shoulders he still wasn’t sure how to go about talking to Niki. It was complicated. He’d been trapped in an
abusive relationship before and he never wanted to make Niki feel that way. Telling someone they were your mate was a huge burden and one he’d been sure he would never share with Niki.

  He had some decisions to make, but for now he was going to keep quiet, he decided. Maybe he’d wait until Niki reached out to him first. That way he was giving Niki the space he so obviously desired.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Oliver wasn’t one to drop by on his own, so it was a surprise when he knocked on Niki’s door and pushed through with a small, “Hello?”

  “Hey.” Niki answered sitting up in his bed, uncertain as to why Oliver was there, and hoping it wasn’t something serious.

  Oliver came to sit in his desk chair and rolled it to the end of the bed. His face did look serious. Had someone been hurt?

  “Is everything okay?” Niki asked before Oliver could say anything.

  “Everything’s okay with the rest of the pack, but I’m worried about you and Ethan.” Oliver said, then he ducked his head a little as though embarrassed by what he’d said. Today his shoulder length hair was pulled back in a low ponytail and he was wearing his blue scarf, the one that made his eyes stand out, and had paired it with blue jeans and a white button up. Jessica had been taking him shopping recently and it really showed. Not that Niki felt like being generous just now by saying so.

  Niki sighed. He’d just had this conversation with Michael an hour ago over the phone. Everyone was worried, but Niki wasn’t ready to talk to Ethan and Ethan hadn’t reached out either.

  “I’m just giving him space. That’s what I told Michael when he called and it’s still true now. Ethan needs to figure out what he wants and then he needs to come talk to me.” Niki said plainly. He pushed his glasses up his nose and sat aside the book he’d been reading.

  “If you’re giving him space and he’s giving you space, then no one will ever talk about anything.” Oliver reasoned.

  “Okay, maybe.” Niki would give him that, but he still felt the ball was in Ethan’s court at this point.

  “You’re miserable. I can smell how upset you are, and Niki, he’s just as bad. When he came to work today his t-shirt was on wrong side out and backward and he hadn’t even noticed. Michael had to point it out to him.” Oliver told him.

  Niki just shook his head. “If he’s that miserable then why hasn’t he called?”

  “I could ask you the same thing. Don’t you see? One of you has to make the first move. It might as well be you.”

  “It might as well be him.” Niki said stubbornly. Then he picked his book back up and opened it to where he’d left off.

  “You’re seriously not going to call him?” Oliver asked.

  “I’m seriously not going to call him.” Niki affirmed.

  Oliver didn’t hang around after that, which was fine by Niki. He wanted to mope in solitude. Besides he had a new book to read, so he buried himself in it and let the days pass without notice.

  Three days later Niki got a text from Michael that shocked him to the core. He’d been lost in a fog of depression, unsure how to get himself out of it, and unwilling to try anything he didn’t feel ready for. He was stuck in his own head. So it really shook him when he heard from Michael. See, Michael and Elaine had a huge fight and she’d stormed out. He didn’t even know if she was planning to come back. Michael was beside himself and needed company. Niki agreed to come, of course he did, and he offered to bring dinner too, but Michael didn’t want to be at the apartment and he didn’t want to eat either.

  ‘Meet me at the bluff.’ Niki could feel the please through the phone even though Michael hadn’t typed it. It was a best friend thing. Michael was in trouble and so Niki would go wherever he wanted him to go.

  The bluff was kind of tricky to get to in Niki’s car so he borrowed his dad’s truck. In the past they’d simply hiked all the way there, but Niki was a driver now, so he didn’t have to spend an hour hiking his way out into the forest. This was their hangout from when they were younger. Of course they weren’t supposed to be going there at all, it was too high and too steep, and way too far into the woods to be safe. Michael’s mom and Niki’s dad tried everything they could to keep them away, even going so far as to ban them from each other for a month one summer, but it never lasted. They always found a way back.

  After Michael’s transformation it was a place of safety and solace for them both. They found a huge tree overlooking the bluff that they chained Michael to during his first few transformations, when he still wasn’t capable of controlling himself. They would meet there to talk about Ethan and the other werewolves far from their parent’s hearing. And when things got rough with Elaine or her family, this is where they would come to let Michael destress. So it made sense to meet there now. Though it made Niki nostalgic to take the trek up the hill to the bluff, it made him sad to think that Michael and Elaine were having problems. Surely they could work it out. Niki kind of secretly looked up to them for having such a great relationship.

  The sun was just going down as Niki began to climb. There was a nicely worn path they’d beaten into the side of the hill that he took, cautious all the same of fallen limbs and shrubbery. The ground here was permanently damp so Niki sank into it as he climbed. Thankfully his shoes were old and worn so the mud wouldn’t hurt them. He’d have to clean them off before getting back into his dad’s Chevy though. What he liked most about the bluff was the view of the town below. Especially at night. As he came to the top of the hill and looked down he could see the lights winking on below him as the town settled into the shadow of night, like a thousand little stars blinking into existence.

  The second thing he liked most about this spot was the quiet. It wasn’t silent here. There were trees that rustled in the breeze and limbs that creaked and groaned under the weight of a million green needles. The small animals moved about even more at night and occasionally a bird forgot that the sun had gone down. No, it was more of a soft quiet. No people to be heard. Just him and nature.

  Michael wasn’t there yet so Niki settled on the rock where he normally sat and looked out to the darkening sky, his emotions a swirl of his own despair and worry for his friends.

  “Niki?” Ethan’s voice was a shock to his system. Niki turned around and gaped at him. Their expressions almost matched he was sure because Ethan had both eyebrows raised at him and there was a flush of color Niki had never seen on Ethan’s cheeks.

  That was when it hit him. “They parent-trapped us!” Niki said, coming quickly to his feet. “Yeah, they totally did.” He repeated mostly to himself. “What story did they give you to get you out here?”

  “Harper said she and Tony were thinking of striking out on their own, away from the pack. Said we needed to talk.” Ethan said, stepping forward. He shook his head in disbelief and so did Niki.

  “Michael told me that he and Elaine had a huge fight and she stormed out. He had the nerve to say he didn’t know if she was ever coming back.” Niki shoved at his glasses in irritation.

  Ethan sighed and sat heavily on the rock outcropping where Niki had just been. “I’m guessing they think we need to talk.” He said eventually. He kept his head turned toward the town below, the twinkling lights mirroring the sky above, but Niki could see this was hard for him. It was hard for Niki too.

  “Fair enough, but I’m still going to pay Michael back for lying to me.” He decided he might as well sit next to Ethan since it was the only thing close to seating out there and they did, in fact, need to talk. Niki just wasn’t looking forward to it.

  At first, neither of them said anything. They listened to the sounds of the deepening night and the forest around them. Niki could hear a soft rustling up in the trees behind him, but he knew Ethan could probably tell exactly what it was with his werewolf senses being so heightened compared to Niki’s stunted human senses. Finally, Niki got the courage to speak.

  “I’m sorry.” He said softly. “I’m sorry for pushing you into something you weren’t ready for and I’m sor
ry for storming out that day and not just talking to you. You deserved the chance to tell me how you were feeling. I acted like a spoiled teenager and I wish I could take it back. I totally understand if you don’t want there to be anything between us.”

  Ethan took a deep breath and then turned to face Niki. “You didn’t push me into anything.”

  “But that morning, you said--”

  Ethan cut him off with a look. “I do think we rushed into it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it. I just wanted to be sure you were alright with everything. We didn’t really talk about what we wanted out of it before we slept together, so I didn’t know where you stood. I don’t like to just jump in bed with someone and not know exactly what it means.” Ethan explained patiently.

  “So wait. You want this? You want us to be a thing?” Niki asked. He was so thrown by this revelation that he didn’t even know what to say which was a rare thing for him.

  “Only if you want that. I wouldn’t call it a thing though. I would say, boyfriends. Let’s start there.” Ethan said this shyly, his head tucked low as he ran one hand through his red hair.

  “Yes!” Niki was shaking with the force of his enthusiasm. “I want that, I really do!”

  Ethan laughed softly and then reached to pick up Niki’s hand in his own. “I’ve waited a long time for you Nicolai Petrov. I want to do right by you.” He whispered, giving Niki’s hand a squeeze.

  That was all Niki needed to hear. He surged forward and kissed Ethan long and hard. He took the lapels of his denim jacket in both hands and held Ethan in place. Not that he could hold him if Ethan wanted away, but it was symbolic. He wanted Ethan and Ethan wanted him! He slid his tongue along the seam of Ethan’s lips until Ethan opened for him and twined their tongues together. This kiss was even better than the first because Niki knew they were both on the same page and they were making a conscious decision to be together.